Bolton v St Edwards Old Boys Sat 11th Sept 2010

You often here rumours that Scousers are easily tempted by the chance to steal, well this happened in Rugby form last week as a travelling Bolton 1st XV side lost all 4 wheels in the last minute to a St. Edwards Old Boys side brimming with confidence. Bolton (who would make no excuses) had two or three key players missing but were bolstered by a stronger backline with the return of Vice captain and Alan Sugars apprentice 2005 James Singleton and two great weeks under the belt with victories over Bury and Newton-le-Willows.

The game started with both teams trading blows, literally in some cases as STOB's version of tinhead hit the rather large head of Chris "hey you guys" Turner, luckily Mark "Fred West" Crow* helped him out and stopped the altercation....his patio has never been busier. As far as rugby went Bolton knew that STOB meant business as they peppered the Bolton line with strong runs from the off, excellent bone crunching tackles from Chris "its all about" Mee and Lloyd "rub of the" Green kept the home side at bay whilst elusive running from the Bolton backline meant pitch position was kept although Bolton were on the back foot and conceded a penalty shortly into the game, this was kicked and Bolton rallied behind the posts.

One area Bolton did dominate was the scrums and lineouts, each of theyre own was won in confidence and ruthlessness where as on the STOB ball Bolton's jumpers John "straightener fringe" Stryker and Joe "CIS undercover" Smith constantly causing havok and stealing numerous throw in's, the scrums showed Boltons real strength though as they crucified STOB on each and every occasion.....driving straight over the the STOB pack as they have done in each game this season, only losing a few scrums in the process.

As Bolton continued to hamper STOB attacks the home team became frosty and gave away possession through numerous penalties. Good work and delving runs from young guns Bobby "mud-caps" Bolton and Andy "I definately brought the oranges to pitch no.3 Lesh" Crimmins asked STOB questions they at times didnt have the answers to. One attack proved too much for the home side as another penalty came Boltons way and captain Mike "Brillo pad head" Singleton pointed to the posts, the penalty slotted by undergraduate student and post graduate pie salesman Andy Crimmins.

Boltons dominance in the tight started to push STOB into the open, this is where they were strongest and got the first try of the game after barnstorming runs from theyre number eight and outside centre. After defending with great pride for several phases Bolton conceded a try close to the posts, the try converted. The score now 10 - 3. This warning shot from the home side meant Bolton had to get a grip in the open play and started to do this.

After conceding the Bolton team took the initiative and started to puncture holes in the STOB defence, strong runs from Mark "if you hit me high you die" Aspinall and James "Squizzy junior" Singleton put Bolton on the front foot and STOB in alot of trouble, the ball found itself wide numerous times as Boltons backline started to flow, and interlinking runs from the Bolton pack from John "I can teach" Keech and Ryan "im injured, no im not, yes i am no im not yes i am" Wignall put Boltons playmakers into key positions. All the good work paid off in attack as another penalty was awarded, Crimmins again as solid as ever with the boot slotting from distance.

As STOB picked themselves up it became clear who the dominating side were, Bolton received the kick off and pushed the STOB players back again in defence. Giving STOB credit they were a very aggresive side but continued to play illegally around the ruck, again conceding penalties in kick-able positions, this time a quick tap from Crimmins, found its way to Bobby "the love rug" Bolton who weaved between the defence, the ensuing ruck allowed quick ball again to veteran stand off Mike "now let me talk religion" Singleton who jinked his way through the scrabbling defence to out stretch and score close to the posts, the conversion kicked again by pie and beans lover Crimmins and the Bolton team (based on the previous 20 mins) deservably in front.

Half Time Score: STOB 10 - 13 Bolton 1s

At half time the message was clear, Bolton had to make theyre possession count and this had to be done sooner rather than later. The second half was a completely different story from how the away team started the first, Bolton dominated all the possession and territory. Excellent controlling work in the forwards from all included dominating line outs and devastating scrums, the Bolton tight five bulldozing there way through the weaker home pack.

Possession for STOB was hard to come by and continuous penalty infringments around the ruck area should have been punished further with yellow cards, the referee sherking his responsibilities though and failing to award anything but. Bolton used the mighty weapon of accuracy in Chris "pob" Turner's boot to find themselves inside the STOB 22m zone on a number of occasions, a good 20 mins passed and plenty of possession and movement from the Bolton players, were met with fierce and brutal body on the line defence, Olympic under 7's lightweight wrestler John Keech and Olympic under 7's heavyweight wrestler Chris Mee coming the closest to scoring but to no avail.

STOB rarely saw any ball for the majority of the second half, what ball they did have got kicked as they tried to clear theyre lines after constant Bolton attacks. One attack in particular saw a majestic chip from James "Miami Vice" Singleton over the STOB defence collected by Mark "Aspinwall" Aspinall who unfortunately made the wrong decision when finding himself in a 3 on 1 situation, this would have buried the STOB team and sealed a victory for the travelling side. However STOB had other ideas.

STOB counter attacked as Bolton pressed and fortunately found themselves with a kick-able penalty after scrabbling defence and a great tackle from the younger Singlton stopped a try, this however was one kick too many and slotted comfortably by what seemed the 5th STOB substitute. With the game hanging by a thread at 13-13, Bolton had to receive there own kick off to retain possession, they did just that.....but just a few phases later lost the ball and in the process conceded a penalty, a quick tap from the gobby STOB scrum half put STOB on the front foot and found the ball going wide to STOB's winger who stepped his way towards the defence where Boltons last ditch attempts at tackling werent enough, a try without the conversion the outcome.

Gutted was the word. A harsh lesson in taking your points and putting away teams when dominating in possession. A home game against Ashton-un-Lyne next week is the time to brush this game under the carpet and start again. Although Bolton received a bomus point for finishing within 7 points.

Final Score: STOB 18 - 13 Bolton 1s

MOTM: I dont know - ask the coaches?!

Scorers:
Tries: Singleton,M
Conv: Crimmins x 1
Pens: Crimmins x 2

Quote of the day: "Im a squizzy rascal just a squizzy rascal" (Mike Singy when running back after scoring)

* Mark Crows book "Living with a semi in a semi" OUT NOW in all good bookshops.