Poor Performance by Weak Bolton Team

It was to be a strange day for rugby, forward passes and knock-ons seemed to be allowed, Murtagh managed to score without even playing this week and the strangest of all was that Danny "Come out for my 30th and I’ll go home" Barlow managed to kick 2 conversions. We think it was Barlow anyway, it may have been Tom "That's Asda" Price... either way it was definitely a fat bloke playing 10 that kicked the conversions.

Bolton kicked off and immediately Fylde looked to go wide using their large centres. Fylde scored first, with their sizeable 13 trying to run round Nicholas "Belt Size is the Equator" Sandbrook, he gave up this impossible task and passed for someone else to score.

Bolton with a bare 15 lost secret Spaniard "Manuel" Taylor within the first 5 minutes to a hamstring injury, scrums went uncontested and Bolton down to 14.

Fylde had the extra man and were offloading well in the tackle making defending a challenge out wide. Fylde put 2 tries past Bolton with no reply until our ginger centre (think it was Murtagh) pounced (we say pounced, from memory it was more of a slow, pained lowering manoeuvre) onto a loose ball and found himself clear inside the 22 to score. Boltons outside centre Nick "Jumped up in the air and got stuck" Sandbrook tried to keep pace to support the try, but just couldn't run fast enough.

Bolton continued to struggle to keep possession with Fylde out rucking Bolton all game . Good running from Matthew "I'm worried about my team captain, he's morbidly obese and showing no sign of eating any less" Parrish and Louis ‘Look at my stupid tattoo / I like to act like a 9 year old boy and sit on the ground having a stupid, girly sulk’ Critchlow kept Bolton moving forward.

Further tries from Fylde put the game beyond doubt but Bolton didn’t give up and tries from Waller and Matt "All the gear and no idea" Vickers in the second half gave a full time score of 41-19.

Tries: Marriot, Waller, Vickers
Conversions: Barlow x 2
Fraser Hart MOTM: Scottish
Worst Lift: Louis "Cameltoe" Critchlow for forgetting Matt and leaving him at Fylde rugby club