Bolton forget early off field worries with impressive on field showing

Massive thanks go out to the 4th team, Lloyd ‘Is that Sooty’ Green and Nick Bridges for stepping in and giving us a full complement.

Yet more hilarity ensued, when Rob ‘The Cat Burglar’ Terry snaffled everyone’s favorite Moon headed first teamer Matthew ‘Pizza Maker’ Parrish’s kit bag.

Terry would continue to snaffle for the rest of the day, clearing up any and every loose ball although everyone was a tad weirded out on his insistence we called him Paz and of the grotesque moon sized head swelling brought on by the ‘borrowed’ protein shake.

Despite the off field shenanigans Bolton flew out of the blocks and raced deep into the Preston 22, despite a much re-jigged pack Boltons scrum was very much on top and Paul ‘Is that Lloyd?’ Sutcliffe raced over to score from what is fast becoming a trademark Number 8 pickup. Conversion missed by Tom Relph.

As is the Bolton way they then sat back and gave Preston a way back, indiscipline and a few missed tackle seeing Hoppers score and convert under the posts and take a 7-5 lead.

The rest of the half remained a scrappy tight affair with only a Tom ‘Knock on’ Relph penalty to note which gave Bolton a lead they would hold for the remainder of the match.

H/T Score – PGH 7-8 Bolton

Although a team talk was expected from Fat twin and pizza enthusiast Nick Sandbrook the rotund captain was nowhere to be seen, owing to the fact that he was far too busy chatting up the male populace of Preston… Instead slightly thinner twin and soon to be a father Rick Sandbrook led the team back into the fray.

Bolton stepped it up a gear in the 2nd half and really began to take control despite plethora of mistakes which for the sake of fairness should be noted. Rick ‘Daddy’ Sandbrook celebrated his start at flanker with an excellent Tom ‘I’m from Kirkby’ Relph impression, letting the ball bounce off of his face. Ryan ‘twice in the bath’ Wignall proved why he should never kick a ball and Dave ‘got pulled by Ryan’ Ormes got absolutely smashed by a scrum half…

Alas we must return to the rugby, a flowing backs move instigated by Danny Ryder and linkup between back rowers Lloyd ‘Sooty’ Green and Paul ‘Lloyd’ Sutcliffe saw Sooty go over for his 2nd try (converted by Relph) before the Bolton pack went close to a deserved penalty try from the now dominant scrum, but from the resultant penalty Paul ‘No really, isn’t that Lloyd?’ Sutcliffe went quickly and bulldozed over the line for his trick of hats. Conversion missed for a 22-7 lead.

Boltons tail was well and truly wagging and straight from kick off Rick ‘this doesn’t really count as you let the ball bounce…’ Sandbrook set off on a mazy dash. 10 minutes and several stops to stretch his hamstrings later he had apparently gone 40 yards (read 4) where some quick hands from the supporting backs saw Thomas ‘Title wrecker ’ Relph go over in the corner. Relph then stepped up to slot the conversion.

A Bolton Relph penalty nudged the score up to 30 – 7 but Hoppers continued to fight, grabbing a late consolation try.

FT – PGH 14 – 30 Bolton

Tries – Sooty x3, Relph
Conversions – Relph x2
Penalties – Relph x2

Fraser Hart MOTM – Paul Sutcliffe – Or do I mean Lloyd?

Team Tape provider and bringer of Protein Shakes – Matthew Parrish (Terry with the assist)

Sat down by a Colt award – Dave Evans