Bolton Produce Sizzling Second Half Display

... a yet again much changed Bolton 2nd XV took to the field in sweltering heat against Sedgley Park. Amongst the changes Bolton welcomed Richard Dent and James Timms for their second team debuts and newly promoted to the seconds Ash Cooper returning from injury for his first game of the season.

The day started as many do, with an angry fat controller and a gypsy king trying to sell lucky heather in the changing rooms who shouted random quotes throughout the day.

With nice weather on a weekend (in Bolton!?!) there was obviously something weird going on, and the theme continued right up to kickoff. Flanker Alex “We used to build civilizations. Now we build shopping malls” Quegan having to make a pre kickoff shopping trip, Rob ““I only get the points because I have team-mates who do the work and put me in the position to get them” Terry finally managing to call Lloyd by his correct name while injured second team center Jeremy “If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.” Rees proudly showed all his hatless member while limping around with an arse injury inflicted by an unfortunate pushing back incident.

To the serious business, the warm up, which proved quite literal in its meaning. Having gone out a tad too early Bolton did what any team would do, sunbathed while deciding which forward was going to kick for goal (though apparently the second team aren’t big followers of the shotgun rule…). Having entrusted plump captain and burger aficionado Nick “A fat stomach never breeds fine thoughts” Sandbrook with the sole task of getting a tackle shield it came as no surprise when he became distracted by a passing Ice Cream van and disappeared. Still, warm up complete it was time to get serious.

A serious attitude was needed as well as Sedgley flew out of the blocks playing high intensity rugby and pressuring Bolton from the off. It took a fine defensive

performance to repel the early attacks, a defensive shift that continued all game long and was a cornerstone of Bolton’s promotion season (Note – would read League winning season if not for Tom “A knock-on occurs when a player loses possession of the ball and it goes forward” Relph). Notable mention in particular must go to Tom “Snow leopard sightings are very, very rare” Lee for his several bone rattling hits. Bolton’s defensive efforts began to settle them into the game and along side a back row that was stealing ball after ball Bolton looked like they would hold strong.

Calamity. It’s a strong word but there we go. Bolton’s back row dominance went a step too far leading to indiscipline at the rucks and penalties close to their own posts. Sedgley opting to kick for said posts (although a testament to Boltons defence) would lead to the first try of the game. A terribly scuffed kick sailed well wide but a determined chase exposed Ryan “Not H.I.V. but full blown aiiiiiiids” Wignall who was too busy practicing his kung fu kicks on the wing and Bolton undeservedly shipped a try (converted) to fall 7 behind.

Perhaps shell shocked the indiscipline continued and Sedgley added another penalty to take a 10-0 lead. To end the half and give a clue of what was to come Bolton twice came close to pulling a try back Paul “Izzy Whizzy lets get busy” Sutcliffe just getting held up over the line and Tom “Running out of quotes now” Lee also just coming short after a defence splitting run.

HT Score 0 - 10

In the second half Bolton finally started to exert some control and began using the ball that Mark “You've got to pick-a-pocket or two” Crow and Alex “Oh crikey, It’s the rozzers” Quegan were stealing in scrum and lineout respectively. The pressure told as Lloyd “je m'appelle Sooty?” Green crashed over from close range. Rob “Ginger Wilkinson” Terry stepping up to add the extras. 10 – 7 and game very much on.

The pressure continued as Bolton again worked their way into Sedgley territory, being rewarded with a penalty in front of the sticks and another successful attempt from Rob Terry 10-10. Bolton were now in full flow Danny “They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time” Ryder feeding Tom “Tower, this is Ghost Rider requesting a flyby” Lee to smash through under the posts (Terry conversion) and another Rob “Stay Classy” Terry penalty seeing Bolton climb to 20-10.

Sedgley fought back in the latter stages but Bolton put up a stoic goal line defence to hold strong, which coupled with their discipline finally being in check looked like it would keep the score as it was. It was a scramble at points and involved Rick “Because of the kids. They called me Mr Glass.” Sandbrook not getting taken out in the air but Bolton held on until the final minutes when a darting stepping winger finally got a score. Despite a squeaky bum moment on the final kickoff Bolton did hold on to win, Final Score 20-17.

Tries – Lloyd Green, Tom Lee

Conv – Rob Terry x2

Penalties – Rob Terry x2

Fraser Hart MOTM – Tom Lee

The “You are a Bench – Sit down” award – Richard Sandbrook (*Cry* but it was in the air)

The “Everybody was Kung Foo fighting” award for stupidness in the face of adversity - Ryan Wignall

The Fat 15 Award & Award for exceptional time keeping – Matt Hurst

Top Supporter award – Murtagh

And finally the one everyone wants to win…

The Banter award for outstanding banter, sponsored by Bants Banterman’s Banter emporium – Mark Crow “Are you better than the last hooker?” *Hooker instantly gives away penalty*