Bolton slip to defeat as Dale go top

... This weeks report will probably be longer, although I doubt it will hit the same heights.

Easter proved a tough weekend to select a team with Dave Evans, Ryan Wignall and Danny Joseph drafted into the squad as Bolton struggled to raise a 15. Also in the mixer were Andy Crimmins and JP Singleton both joining the backs division. A full 15 was finally achieved when Rick ‘Waaaaaaaaa Waaaaaaaaaa’ Sandbrook stopped crying about his mild hangover and donned his kit to slot in at flanker - a position more alien to him than the idea of Nick Sandbrook only eating three burgers for lunch.

15 men, check. Time to play rugby. Unusually (ha) for a Bolton team the best of starts wasn’t had as Bolton mistakes saw them quickly under pressure from the Rochdale backline.

Before Rick Sandbrook could start crying again due to a slight cut and leave the field for completely unnecessary blood "treatment" (read "a tissue") Bolton quickly found themselves behind as Dale opened the scoring. It was to prove a one way street for a while as further scores saw them garner an 18 point lead.

Despite the now obligatory poor start Bolton slowly worked their way back into the game as the pack and the backs begin to create trouble with the ball in hand. Defensively Bolton also stepped up, Danny Joseph and Tom ‘Cumbrian League next year’ Relph in particular with some crucial last man tackles. Boltons reward was a try right on half time as Dave ‘The Volcano’ Evans briefly erupted as he collected an inside ball from ten Andy Crimmins, having spotted the line Dave “Sebastien Chubb-al” Evans found some pace (approximately 2-3 miles per hour) which had been dormant for years to touch down next to the sticks, sending the record home crowd of 5 people into raptures. Token squad ginger Rob "we thought we could get a lottery grant if we had a ginger playing for us" Terry stepping up to add the extras. Half time blown shortly after giving Dave Evans a well needed rest after his 10 yard dash.

H/T: 7 – 18

Bolton started brightly in the second half but couldn’t get an additional score despite JP Singleton and Dave ‘Relph’ Ormes both going close. Dale where to however get the next couple of scores, adding 2 further tries to pull clear. Yet Bolton continued to fight back and to run the ball full back Danny Joseph on a scything run from deep looking to have scored a spectacular try before being caught just short of the line by a blindside tackle, Tom Relph managing scoop the ball up and in true Relph fashion knock the ball on and land on it over the line to score . Conversion possibly added by Terry.

The best was yet to come as Bolton finished the game off with a try of the season individual effort from the lively JP ‘Falcon’ Singleton which started with a quick tap penalty and ended in Singleton rounding too many players to mention and out pacing the final Dale man to touch down in the corner. Conversion missed if my maths is correct, which you would hope given that I'm supposed to be an engineer.

F/T: 19 – 32

Fraser Hart MOM: JP Singleton

The Tom Relph Knock On Award – finally Mr Relph lets someone else win – Dave Ormes

The They call him Mr Glass Award – Guess Who? – Rick Sandbrook

Animal Noise of the Day – MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The Hangover Award sponsored by Carlsberg – Too many to list…

The white stick and guide dog award for useless no look passes – Ryan Wignall