Saturday 20th October 2012 – “Momma don’t want no Gammon boy”

As I drive through the valley and then past Hollingworth Lake
I take a look at the squad and realize there's nothin' left
Cause I've been blasting and laughing so long,
That even “Pete the Meat” thinks that my mind is gone
But I ain't never crossed a “Manny Tailor” that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like “Jay Cheetham” you know that's unheard of
You better watch how “Mike Singy’s” talking and how he’s walking
Or you and your homies might be getting Squizzified
I really hate to lose but we had to yo
As they croak, I see myself in “Townsends” smoke, fool
I‘m the Nashy B that all the little homies wanna be like
On my knees in the night saying prayers on Avenue Street like
(Relph Scores, Terry converts)

Been spending most their lives, living in Mandy’s paradise
Been spending most his life, visiting McDonalds Blackburn Road once or twice
Keep spending most our lives, living a Rob Terry paradise
Keep spending most his life, impersonating Jimmy Cranky’s sexual vice

Look at the situation Littleborough got us facin'
I can't live a normal life, I was raised by Jay Cheets
So I gotta be down with the second team
Too many Stevie knibby weddings got “Scott Knibb” chasing dreams
“Waddy’s” an educated tool with money on his mind
Got his £40 in his hand and a Bury look in his eye
“Queggars” is a loc'd Chester gangsta set trippin' banger
And “Townsends” throwing going down like Jimmy Saville so don't arouse my anger, fool
Death ain't nothing but five tries away,
Were doing well, do or die, what can I say
I'm 23 stone now, but will I live to see 24
Millsy....the way things are going I don't know

Tell me why “Johnny Hill” is blind to see
That the ones he hurts are Bolton’s back three

Been spending most their lives, living in Mandy’s paradise
Been spending most his life, visiting McDonalds Blackburn Road once or twice
Keep spending most our lives, living a Rob Terry paradise
Keep spending most his life, impersonating Jimmy Cranky’s sexual vice

Power is “Pete Mazza”, “Pete Mazza” is the power
Season after season, peeing in the shower
Not Everybody’s running, but half of them are looking
What's going on in Littleborough’s kitchen, Bolton’s front row are itch ‘in
They say I gotta learn, but its “Couscous” here to teach me
If they can't understand it, how can the three different girlfriends reach me
I guess they can't, I guess they won't
I guess they found out, that's why I know my life is out of luck, fool

(Terry Scores, Conv missed)

Been spending most their lives, living in Mandy’s paradise
Been spending most his life, visiting McDonalds Blackburn Road once or twice
Keep spending most our lives, living a Rob Terry paradise
Keep spending most his life, impersonating Jimmy Cranky’s sexual vice
Tell me why “Johnny Hill” is blind to see
That the ones he hurts are Bolton’s back three

Tell me why “Johnny Hill” is blind to see
That the ones he hurts are you and me

[Fade out]

Half Time: Littleborough 2XV 12 – 12 Bolton 2XV

(The 2nd half report is to be read as if singing the Aerosmith classic “I don’t want to miss a thing”):
“Couscous O’D” crept in your room just to hear you breathing
“Olly Relph” would watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in versatile prop “Mandy’s” surrender
He could stay lost in this box of magic moment’s forever
Where every moment spent with you in the showers is a moment I treasure

I Don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss Littleborough scoring and I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of food the sweetest desert would never do
We keep missing tackles and I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to “Johnny Hill” (Concussed) feeling his heart beating
And I'm wondering what he is dreaming
Wondering if it's the Littleborough No.6 you're seeing
Then “Taity” kisses your eyes and thanks God you’re back row together
He just wants to stay with you in this moment forever, forever and ever

I Don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss Littleborough scoring and I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of food the sweetest desert would never do
We keep missing tackles and I don't want to miss a thing

I don't wanna miss one try, I don't wanna miss one kick
I don’t wanna be with you, right here with you, just like this
Were trying to hold the game close, feel your heart and limit the score line
And erase this memory here in this moment for all the rest of time

I Don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss Littleborough scoring and I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of food the sweetest desert would never do
We keep missing tackles and I don't want to miss a thing

I can’t help but close my eyes, I just wanna fall asleep
Yeah, I want to forget this match for the rest of the 2011/12 season an-ting.
(Cheetham Scores, Terry conv)

Final Score: Littleborough 2XV 46 – 19 Bolton 2XV

MOTM: Oliver “Stealth” Relph

Tries: Relph, Terry, Cheetham

Convs: Terry (2)

Comment of the day: “People know me because of what I can do on a pitch, I am living legend who wants nothing more than to bring joy to spectators faces” (Mike Singleton, 2012)

Regards,

Nash Bridges

EVERYTHING LISTED ABOVE IS PURELY THE THOUGHTS AND VIEWS OF AN UNKNOWN SPECTATOR AND NOT THE VIEWS OF A PLAYER WITHIN THE SQUAD.