“Start posting those letters coz Santa has a busy schedule”

*Please read the 1st half as George Michael Singleton’s classic “Faith”*

Well I guess it would be nice
If Squizz could touch your body
I know not everybody
Has got a body like Dave Meir, mmm

But in this half we should’ve scored twice
Before Relphy gave the ball away
Pretty standard in all the games he play’s
Because I play them too

Oh but Peter Marriott
Needs some time off from that emotion
Time to pick that ball up off the floor
Oh and when Meir slams the ball down
His try devotion
Well it takes a strong man baby
But the dominator’s showing you the door

'Cause Squizz gotta have faith
Squizz gotta have faith
'Cause I gotta have faith, faith,
'cause I gotta have faith-a-faith-a-faith

Keechy
I know you're asking Crow to play
Say please, please, please don't throw the ball away
You kept on throwing to the blues
Maybe
Jay Cheetham means every word he say’s
But he Can't remember yesterday
And big Geoff tied Jay down with his loverboy rules

Before Marriott’s shower river
Becomes an ocean
Before Paz throw’s his massive head back on the floor
Oh oh Relphy I reconsider
My foolish notion
Well he need’s a wooden basket
But I'll wait for Timms to add some more

Yes Squizz has gotta have faith...
Mmm, he gotta have faith
'Cause I gotta have faith, faith, faith,
I gotta have faith-a-faith-a-faith

Half Time: Bolton 2XV 10 – 10 Preston Grasshoppers 3XV (Meir (TRY), Timms (CON), Timms (PEN))

*Please read the 2nd half as Kwisssss-Z’s classic “99 Problems”*

If you're having handling problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and Tommy Relph is one

I got Joe Smith patrol on the wing patrol
Smith that wanna make sure my CSI case is closed

Olly Relph Rap critics that say he's "Money Cash Hoes"
I'm from the Halliwell stupid what type of facts are those

Pete Brogan grew up with holes in his Irish Brogues
You'd celebrate the minute he was having Ben & Jerry’s cookie dough

Sappers are like sod the critics you can kiss my 2nd team hole
If you don't like my lyrics you can pick a less fast forward

Keith the Beef with radio if I don't play they show
Johnny Hill with his kick off hits well I don't give a s**t SO

Rugby world mags try and use my Nash ass
So advertisers can give em more graphs & stats

Nash don't know what you take me as
or understand the intelligence that Mark Townsend has
I'm from Albert Square to riches Philly Mitch ain't dumb
I got 99 problems and the referee is the major one

Hit me

99 Problems and Tommy Relph is one
If you having handling problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and the referee is a major one

Hit me

The year is 2012 and in my Nissan NashQai trunk is raw
In my rear view mirror is the Lesh Towler law

I got two choices yall put Al Quegs to the wing
He can bounce on the double put the pedal to the floor

Now I ain't trying to see no highway chase with Keechy Reeves
Plus I got a few dollars I can fight his case

So he...pulls a back spasm on the side of the road
And I heard Julie say "John what you doing a Reevesy for?"

Cause he’s young and he’s back and Olly Relphs hat's real low
Does Squizz look like a mind reader sir, I don't know

Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo?
Joe Smith says, "Well you was doing fifty five in a fifty four"

"Give me your BRUFC registration form and step out of the car"
"Are your size 13 Optimum boots a weapon, you’ve been telling everyone they are"

I ain't stepping out one bit all my papers legit
"Mr Wignall why are you behaving like this you little tit?"

Well the Preston Grasshoppers 22m department is locked and the ref has their back
Squizzy Singleton know his rights so you gon' need some Franca’s pizza for that

"Aren't you ex Bolton School or some type of lawyer or something?"
"Or somebody important or something?"

Nah Geoff Earle ain't passed the bar but played water polo a bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my sh*t

CSI Smith hollers, "Well see how smart you are when the K-9's come"
I got 99 problems and Relphy’s handling is one

Hit me

Now once upon a time not too long ago
A popular Journo like myself had to strong arm a hoe

This is not a hoe in the sense of having a bird called Skippy
But a Skippy having no God Damn sense, try and push me

I tried to ignore Pete Mazza and talk to the Lord
Pray for him, cause 2nd team fools just love to perform

You know the Bolton 2nd team crowd as loud as a motor bike
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight

The only thing that's gonna happen is my cliché man get to clapping
He and his boys gon' be yapping to the our stand in Relphy captain

And there I go trapped in the ruck kat again
The ref plays his system with the riff raff again

Flankers on the floor scratching again
Paparazzi's with they cameras snapping them

Jay Cheets tried to give the bar staff the shaft again
Half-a-mil for bail cause I'm Lostockian

All because Townsend was harrassin' them
Trying to play the boy like hes Phil Mitch again
But ain't nothing sweet 'bout how Marriott holds his gun
But we got 99 problems and Tommy Relph’s handling is one

Hit me

You're crazy for this one Squizz

Final Score: Bolton 2XV 10 – 20 Preston Grasshoppers 3XV

MOTM: Total Domination inc.

Tries: Meir.

Convs: Timms

Pens: Timms

Comment of the day: “I do like a good old cream doughnut, one that squirts jam like a cougar.” (Mike Singleton, 2012)

Regards,

Nash Bridges

EVERYTHING LISTED ABOVE IS PURELY THE THOUGHTS AND VIEWS OF AN UNKNOWN SPECTATOR AND NOT THE VIEWS OF A PLAYER WITHIN THE SQUAD.