Sedgley Park 3XV vs Bolton 2XV

*All what is written below is by the Bolton Mole Thomas “Two Stripe” Relph*

Match Report – Sedgley 3XV v Bolton 2XV

As Kwiss Turner woke up on the streets of London after a long night searching for that coverted red light….the Bolton 2XV arrived at Sedgley Park in a subdued mood, following two consecutive defeats against Blackburn and Chorley. Two losses in a row was a rare occurrence for the 2XV in the last two seasons.

Captain Keech made it plain for all to see that he was not happy, and attitudes as well as performances needed to change. An inspired speech straight from the fields of Zumba Zambia land meant Bolton 2XV had a constructive and positive warm up ready for the match ahead.

The game kicked off with both teams testing each other out. However, Ryan Wignall ran the ball a little bit to offload to Cous who brilliantly went under the posts with Botlon to take the lead 7-0.

Despite taking an early lead, Sedgley pinned Bolton back in there own 22, good Bolton defence kept them at bay. Good running again from Cous and Tommy T put Bolton on the front foot. The Bolton pack had the Sedgley pack dominated in the scurm from start to finish and it began to show with Bolton gaining turn over ball.

Good carrying from the oldest Prop in the club and the stumpiest hooker in the club meant Bolton kept hold of the ball giving a good platform for Mike “Hovercraft’s are my life!” Singleton to get the Bolton backs moving.

Good running from Tommy Two Stripe Relph and John “I don’t have a Thai Bride Honest” Stryker meant John Keech went over under the sticks. The conversion was duly converted by Voodoo Expert Rob Terry.

Other tries from Wignall gave Bolton a solid leave at Half time.

Half time Bolton ** v Sedgley 0

More words from Keech at half time were to make sure Sedgley didn’t get on the score sheet and concentration was key, with Bolton in recent games thinking the game was won at Half time.

However Sedgley woke up in the second half and started to put Bolton under considerable pressure, that , and the Ref giving random penalties here, there and everywhere meant that Bolton couldn’t get out of their own half. This lead to Sedgley scoring in the corner with two Bolton players down injured creating a 4 on 2 overlap, letting the Mark Townsend/Phil Mitchell Centre to score in the corner.

The injuries resulting in the try meant a huge re-shuffle with Keech going off with a “poorly elbow” and Wignall re-injuring his groin. This meant Rick Sandy and Jonny Hill came on at Full Back and Wing respectively. This caused a slight confusion within the backs. But up-stepped Marcus “Look at me I can grow a stupid moustache” O’Donoughue broke through several tackles and again scored under the posts.

Then, a thing turned a little nasty with Alex Quegan getting his head deliberately stamped on, resulting in several stitches; understandably the oldest prop in the club Mr Evans pushed the opposing player off. However somehow the ref thought it appropriate to send both Taff and the offending player to the Bin.

The next 10 mins consisted of constant penalties being given against the Bolton side, for example, a stumpy hooker clearly on his feet stealing the ball led to a Sedgley Penalty….however the second row then tired to take the quick tap but was meet head on my the Bolton Forwards and Marcus “I’m invincible” O’Donohue.

Try conceded by Bolton

Bolton pushed up the pitch and good phase play saw Rick Sandy go over in the corner.

The Bolton pack responded with a push over scrum with Big Geoff “I like Pie” Earle pushing down. Towards the end of the game saw the opposing team tire. This allowed the other prop on the pitch at the time, to go for a casual jog from the halfway to the try line. Although some say this was lightning quick, and reminiscent of Usain Bolt, however I have since seen the footage and several of the Sedgley players saw it as a lost cause and just gave the Prop his moment in the setting sun and gave up the chase very early on.

Final Score: Sedgley 10 - Bolton 52.

Credit to Sedgley for constantly contesting every ball and unfortunately for them came up against a Bolton Side of renewed confidence and fight, which will be need in the push for promotion and especially the coveted Top Spot!