Bolton Close but no Cigar

As always there where some changes fat but still the thinner twin and newly qualified yoga instructor Rick Sandbrook was dropped to 1’s and replaced by Andy ‘So old I taught most of the team at school’ Leigh at scrum half while Santo ‘Jaffa Cakes’ O’Brien stepped in for his debut at centre.

Despite a solid warm up Bolton were yet again slow out of the blocks and on the back foot early doors, this led to Vale getting deep into Bolton territory and from a scrum saw Vales number 8 who would cause problems all day scamper in for a try under the sticks. Bolton going very quickly 7-0 down.

That provided the wake up call and Bolton decided to come to the party after all starting with a relentless rolling maul, however coming away without any points. It was quickly becoming apparent that both sides were more than proficient defensively with thundering hits going in from both sides, Tom Lee both dishing out and receiving the old boom. The stalemate was broken by what is unfortunately becoming another cornerstone of Bolton’s play – indiscipline a penalty being added to Vales tally. 10 – 0.

Bolton again eased back into the game and this time got a reward, Tom ‘He’ll cry if I mention a certain game in Cumbria again’ Relph sliced through the Vale defence from fullback and off loaded to Mark ‘Flying pig’ Townsend who just about scrambled over the line. Converted by Relph to close the gap to 10 – 7.

Again though Bolton didn’t sustain their good play Vale adding another penalty and an unconverted try to take an 18 – 7 lead into the half time jaffa cake break.

Bolton rallied after the break Stuart ‘I didn’t go drinking Friday night’ Evans going close to getting over in the corner and Danny ‘HIGH tackle?’ Ryder beginning to make gains in the middle of the park. This left Bolton in the right areas to play rugby and saw Santo ‘angry man’ O’Brien able to outpace his man and cruise over in the corner. Conversion missed. 18 – 12.

Sensing another second half comeback Bolton pressured again coming away with a Tom ‘Im pretty sure he’s never been to Cumbria anyway’ Relph penalty. 18 – 15. With time running down the game became stretched and Bolton became careless in possession in an attempt to get the winner, Vales perhaps older heads showed and they added two more penalties to seal the win. Final Score 24 – 15.

Next week Bolton host Tom Relph’s Kirkby Lonsdale.

Fraser Hart MOTM –

The Hits his Girlfriend like that award for Slapping an opponent (no really) – Ryan ‘Shame’ Wignall

The Once in a lifetime award for not getting in a pretend fight for a change – Dave ‘werther's original’ Ormes (he also claims to have not given away a penalty but that can’t have happened)

The Accidental Finger in your own players eye award sponsored by Total Eyepatch Solutions – Alex ‘it felt mushy’ Quegan.

The Big Dave award for being fat and not doing much – A big surprise in this one – Nick ‘I’m loving it’ Sandbrook.