Bolton 2nd XV v Fleetwood 2nd XV

I’m not going to make this a long one, so let me get the basics out of the way. Nick ‘you owe me 77 shots lad’ Sandbrook is fat and didn’t play. Tom ‘should have dropped the chili sandwich’ Relph likes to knock on and bounce balls off of his face and Dave ‘red socks in the wash’ Ormes managed to give away a penalty despite not even playing.

Team wise Bolton retained second row Andy Pilling and back row Johnny ‘very lucky Relph came along’ Hill from the third team while Stuart Evans returned on the wing and a sprinkling of 4th team Bolton Uni students also. I’m sorry chaps if I did get your names I’ve drank them away again, but a big thanks for pulling on the jersey. Meanwhile Chris ‘The Soapinator’ Turner started at prop much to the amusement of Fleetwood come kicking time (and Bolton given his horrendous boomerang kicks for touch…).

In a tough ask it was title chasing Fleetwood who were the visitors and it took them to be fair all of 30 seconds to get on the scoreboard with a worrying try. A poor start from a Bolton team is completely unheard of I am sure you will agree. It proved a torrid day for the old Cherry and Whites as a well drilled and hard running Fleetwood team carved Boltons defence open on numerous occasions and crossed the white wash more times than I’ve sworn off drinking after waking up with a bad head on a Sunday morning (although I suspect many people had this problem this week…). Bolton had a couple of good spells, namely a 15-20 minute period in the second half where they managed to stop the scoreboard ticking over against them but the writing was on the wall as Fleetwood finished with a flourish adding more scores.

F/T Score – Bolton 0 v 50 Fleetwood.

Fraser Hart MOM – Johnny Hill

The Tom Relph Award – Kwis ‘Banana Boot’ Turner

A Quick word to Fleetwoods injured man, who of course we wish all the best, it was perhaps the calmest reaction anyone will ever see to breaking an ankle.