Now this is the story all about how
Wigan got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a team with some flair

On the East side of Halliwell I was born and raised
On the playground like Gary Glitter I spent most of my days
Chilling out, eating pasties, relaxing all cool
And all shooting touch rugby outside of Thornleigh High school
When a couple of players, they were classed as no good
So they started playing seconds in my neighbourhood
He got in one little fight and Johnny Hill got scared
I said "You're moving in with Keech and Relph, stop acting like Ric Flair"

The ref whistled for the game and when it came near our
Tom Relphy said "fresh, i’ve always thought I was queer”,
If anything I could say that this guy was rare
But I thought nah, pick Dan Ryder, yo homes im Ric Flair! (wooooooooo)

I pulled in to the 22m about seven or eight
And I yelled to the Wigan Defence "Yo, homes smell you later!"
Looked at my captain he was finally there
To sit on his throne after 14 games away...........
(The 2nd section of the report is to be read as if singing 90’s classic “Saved by the bell”)
When I wake Sat’day morning
And JP Abramovich texts out a warning
I don't think Leigh McDermott will ever make it on time (he didn’t)
By the time Waddy grabs his boots,
And monsieur Terry gives himself a look,
Wigan 2’s had hit the corner just in time to see Waddy and Ryder fly by
It's alright coz Wigan were saved by the bell

And when Mike Singy pops his vest,
He knows his diets in a mess,
And Mandy ate all my homework last night,
Danny Rydin' low in my chair,
No one will know that he’s there,
If Terry keeps converting, it'll be all right!
It's alright, Wigan were saved by the bell

(FADE OUT)

Tries: Waddicar, Ryder (Terry Conv)

Half Time: Bolton 2XV 12 – 3 Wigan 2XV
(The 2nd half report is to be read as if singing the Queen classic “Don’t stop me know”):

The 2’s are gunna have themselves a real good time
I feel alive and turning Wigan inside out Yeah!
Jay Cheetham is floating around in ecstasy
So don't stop Squizz now don't stop him
'Cause he’s having a good time having a good time

Waddy’s a shooting star leaping through the backline
Like a demented tiger defying the laws of disability
Geoff Earles a racing car passing by like a monster truck driver
He’s gonna go go go
There's no stopping him

Olly Relph burning down the wing Yeah!
In his brothers dungaree’s
That's why they call him Mister Lady of ‘t Night
He’s trav'ling at the speed of a kite
Pete the meat will make a silly man out of you

Don't stop Manny having a good time
He’s catching the ball don't stop him now
If you wanna have a good time just give Stu Evans a call
Don't stop them now (The 2’s are having a good time)
Don't stop them now (Yes there having a good time)
They don't want to stop at all

The front 3 are in a rocket ship on the way to buy a Mars
This games a collision course
Keech is on satellite, please pass me the control
Marriotts a sex machine ready to reload
Like a Chris Hughes atom bomb about to
Oh oh oh oh oh explode

Gaz Pritch is burning through the skies Yeah!
Its 19 – 14
That's why they call him Eddie Sheeran (Alright!)
Queggars travels at the speed of light
He wants to make a supersonic woman out of you

Don't stop them don't stop them don't stop them
Hey hey hey!
Don't stop them don't stop them
Ooh ooh ooh (Lesh likes it)
Don't stop them have a good time good time
Don't stop them don't stop them
Ooh ooh Alright
Taity is burning through the skies Yeah!
He played for Wilmslow three’s?
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
He’s trav'ling at the speed of light
He wants to make a losing Wigan team out of you

Don't stop Keech having such a good time
He’s catching and passing the ball (cleanly) don't stop him now
If you wanna have a good time
Just give the seconds a call
Don't stop them now ('Cause they’re having a good time)
Don't stop them now (Yes they’re having a good time)
They don't wanna stop at all

La la la la laaaa
La la la la
La la laa laa laa laaa
La la laa la la la la la laaa hey!!....
Tries: Waddicar, Keech (Terry Conv x 2)

Final Score: Bolton 2XV 26 – 14 Wigan 2XV

MOTM: Scott Knibb / Alex Waddicar

Tries: Waddicar (2), Ryder, Keech

Convs: Terry (3)

Comment of the day: “People call me ‘Singy the Dinghy’ because the majority of me is hot air, but I always guide my team to safety” (Mike Singleton, 2012)

Regards,

Nash Bridges

EVERYTHING LISTED ABOVE IS PURELY THE THOUGHTS AND VIEWS OF AN UNKNOWN SPECTATOR AND NOT THE VIEWS OF A PLAYER WITHIN THE SQUAD.